Little bit of everything

Hey girlies!

This is going to be a bit of a random post. I'm currently sat in my room, staring out the window at the miserable weather and have 1000 things going through my mind, but one thing in particular. 

Yesterday, I lost someone very special to me. He has grown up with me since i was 4 (I'm now 17) and became a huge part of my life. I have to say, i've lost members of family (not close relatives though) but losing my cat, has been one of the worst things i've been through. Some of you may be sitting there reading this thinking, 'eugh, seriousy? it's just a cat' but to me, he was family. I guess i've been lucky enough to never lose someone close to me before, and I can't imagine what it must be like to lose your parents, or grandparents. But losing a pet is equally as hard, especially as there is often little you can do for them. We are not sure what caused his death. I was away at my dads this weekend, and only a week ago was I running around the house with him like a child. I came back on Monday night only to have to rush to the vets as Smartie (my cat) had deteriorated rapidly. The vet couldn't put his finger on the problem, but said due to his age it was likely his heart or liver. His chest was filled with fluid and his breathing irregular. Obviously, we asked the vet what he thought was best for my kitty, but he said that it could be a lack of proteins, so to give him an injection and see how he was in the morning. Before i went in there, i promised i would not let him be put down in the vet, as i wanted him in the comfort of his home. We asked, that if he had not improved over the next 24hours that the vet put him to sleep at home.

Anyway, we got him home, and he just lay by the aga (he loved it) but he would not eat. The injection would take up to 12 hours to have an effect so i still had hope. Before i went to sleep that night, about 11 oclock, i went to check on him. Not only had he got up, but he had jumped onto the washing basket and was peacefully layed down. I gave him a cuddle and said goodnight... Not goodbye. 

I went to bed with positivity, but it only felt like an hour before my step dad woke me at 4.50am. I knew he was gone. 

We think he went in his sleep, on his favourite place...the stairs. He still managed to look beautiful, even though lifeless and seemed to only be sleeping. It was one of those moments where you just expect them to wake up like any other day, but then reality kicked in that i would never see him run again. Yesterday was difficult, but when i returned from college we buried him under the apple tree in the garden where he loved to sleep and said our final goodbyes. 

I miss him already, but in a way, I'm pleased he chose when to go, rather than me having to make the difficult decision for him. It gives me happiness that he is no longer suffering and is in a better place.

I will never forget him and he will be missed by everyone. I know everyone says this about their pets, but he honestly was the best cat i could have ever wished for. I'm honored to have owned such a beautiful, kind animal. 

R.I.P Smartie. <3

Thankyou for reading girlies. Sorry it was a sad post :( xxxxx